Bewerbungen » ed for a closing

In July and August, espnWs weekly essay series will focus on body image.Ive never felt so beautiful in my life. Women arent supposed to say such things.At 32, Im surprised to find myself divorced and childless. Though this is not at all how I imagined my life, I dont begrudge it. There is nothing I hate about myself. When I look in the mirror, Im satisfied with what I see, which some days feels like a miracle considering the world we live in. Even when I do doubt myself -- I refuse to slide into a vortex of self-criticism.I dont know how many times I have found myself among groups of women flagellating themselves about their physical appearance. ... I hate my thighs. My breasts are too small. I wish I had a bigger ass. I cant stand my crows feet. ... The self-criticism can get ruthless, and years ago I decided I would never participate in these kinds of pile ons.I didnt all of a sudden adopt Beyoncés Flawless as my anthem. I didnt one day get up and decide to become the subject of a sappy Dove commercial. The self-love took years of focused, and painstaking, effort. The relationship I have with both my body and my mind has gone through a transformational shift in the past few years. Ive always loved being a woman, but Ive just now begun to embrace my femaleness with a sense of exuberance.Last year I discovered that I love to run. My fondness of running came as a surprise to me because I hated sports as a child; I was so uncoordinated that kids would groan when I was placed on their teams in gym class. I felt awkward, ugly because of my growing breasts, and embarrassed of my chubby body and clumsiness.I saw running as a chore, a way to counteract my love of burgers and beer and maintain my weight. As I was recovering from a horrific bout of depression, however, I increased my distance, and running became a salve for me. Running was part of the cocktail to treat my mental illness -- therapy, Prozac and my Buddhist practice. After my separation from my husband last winter, it became even more cathartic. I began to enjoy the feeling of exhaustion, the breathlessness.For that hour, I was disconnected from all forms of communication and felt fused with my environment. Running was a meditative experience and I was flooded with creativity. The solitude allowed my mind to make leaps that it hadnt made before. I gave myself pep talks on my runs. You are a bad-ass bitch, I would say to myself. You can do anything. Love yourself, you dummy! It was hokey, but it worked. I pushed myself in ways that were unfamiliar to me. I was running for five-mile stretches several times a week. The ache of my muscles afterward was satisfying because it reminded me of what my body had done.The exercise boosted my endorphins as well as my confidence. My back became firm, my posture improved, my ass was well-sculpted, and my stumpy little legs were now tight and powerful. Not only that, I had more energy and my clothes fit me like a goddamn dream.It wasnt until I began to run more seriously that I realized what I was missing. There is a sense of liberation that comes from running through the city. Not only does it exhilarate my body, dodging traffic and jumping over broken glass and dead rats makes me feel like a tough broad. I find the solitude fortifying.It was inevitable that this feeling of transcendence manifested in other realms of my life. Older women always tell me how wonderful their 30s were in contrast to their 20s. This is the time when you finally figure yourself out and grow into your own. Well, theyre right. I spent my younger years clawing my way up in my career, feeling insecure about my body, and letting men treat me like garbage. Now that Im a grown woman, I like who I am. I know exactly what I want and what I deserve.As I have become more self-assured and in-tune with my body, Ive entered what feels like a sexual awakening, which I suppose is not surprising. They say that women reach their sexual peak in their 30s because this is when we feel most comfortable with our bodies and sexuality.In fact, a study found that women feel their sexiest at 34. An article published in 2010 in the journal of Personality and Individual Differences also found that women aged 27 through 45 are significantly more sexual than younger women. This particular study posited that the increase in sex drive is biological -- women become more sexually active as their fertility begins to drop. Whatever the reason may be, its real and my desire to have children has followed, a feeling so intense that the other day I saw a beautiful pregnant woman walking down the street and sobbed. My tears were both startling and embarrassing. Part of me felt betrayed by the body I had worked so hard to strengthen and love.I feel like Im brimming with possibilities at this moment in my life. And as Ive reached this precipice -- spiritually, emotionally, and physically -- I find myself single. I cant decide if this is ironic because I know Im definitely not the only one experiencing this. Im surrounded by beautiful and accomplished women who are similarly alone. Are we frightening? I often wonder. Is our power perceived as emasculating in a world built on male fragility?Dont get me wrong. In no way do I find our lives tragic or sad. The women I know are fierce as hell. And despite the incertitude I feel about myself at times, I know that Im flourishing, that Im a complex and complete woman.I feel sorry for those who are incapable of sharing this abundance.Erika L. Sánchez is a poet, essayist and fiction writer. She is the author of Lessons on Expulsion (Graywolf 2017) and Brown Girl Problems (Knopf 2017). Her nonfiction has appeared in Al Jazeera, The Guardian, Rolling Stone and many other publications. She has received a CantoMundo Fellowship, a Discovery/Boston Review Poetry Prize, and a Ruth Lilly and Dorothy Sargent Rosenberg Poetry Fellowship from the Poetry Foundation. Air Max 97/1 For Sale . The International Olympic Committee released the official list of bid cities on Friday after the deadline for applications had passed. The candidates -- all previously announced in their own countries -- are: Almaty, Kazakhstan; Beijing; Krakow, Poland; Lviv, Ukraine; Oslo, Norway; and Stockholm. Air Max 97 China Wholesale . -- Claudio Bieler hadnt scored since early September, and not from the run of play since mid-July. http://www.outletairmax97.com/air-max-97-have-a-nike-day.html . Woodson said during a radio interview Thursday that the Knicks Carmelo Anthony doesnt get the same calls as other superstars. Air Max 97 Shanghai . 24 Baylor in a Big 12 clash between teams trending in opposite directions. Andrew Wiggins made 10-of-12 from the foul line and scored 17 for Kansas (14-4, 5-0 Big 12), which capped a stretch of four straight games against ranked opponents unscathed. Air Max 97 Plus Black Shock Orange . Tevez, who has had conflicts with coaches in the past, has not been called up since Sabella was named coach in 2011. Argentina boasts Lionel Messi, Gonzalo Higuain, Sergio Aguero, Ezequiel Lavezzi and Angel Di Maria. LAS VEGAS -- Rod Pampling followed an opening 11-under 60 with a 68 on Friday to keep the lead in the Shriners Hospitals for Children Open.The 47-year-old Australian rebounded from two early bogeys to get to 14-under 128 at TPC Summerlin. He won the last of his two PGA Tour titles in 2006 at Bay Hill.The hole looked really big yesterday, Pampling said. I started out today and I didnt think theyd cut them (the greens) early on. I changed ball markers, and I knew I was playing good, so I just kind of threw out a new vibe, and it started to work. I knew it wasnt bad, its just like it happened, so just let it go. Corrected myself and played nice after that.Brooks Koepka had two eagles in a 67 to pull within a stroke. He won the Phoenix Open last year for his first tour title and was 3-1 in the United States Ryder Cup victory over Europe.The ball seems to be finding the hole once we get it on the green, so just get it on the green as quickly as possible, Koepka said.Aaron Wise, the NCAA champion last season for Oregon, was two shot back at 12 under with four holes left when play was suspended because of darkness. He eagled the par-5 13th and 16th on his front nine.Pampling bogeyed two of his first five holes, failing to get up-and-down from a greenside bunker on the par-4 11th and from the rough over the green on the par-3 14th. He rebounded with birdies on four of the next seven holes, birdied the par-4 seventh, three-putted the par-3 eighth for bogey and two-putted for a closing birdie on the par-5 ninth.Youve just got to trust yourself that youre playing well, Pampling said. I knew I had been, not just yesterday, the form hhad been good before that.dddddddddddd I was confident in myself. I didnt panic. You can easily panic out there, and you shoot 2, 3 over, and at the end of the day youre just scratching your head. I just relaxed. I knew it was good, so I let it come to me, and it thankfully did.Koepka eagled the par-5 ninth and 16th, and had five birdies and five bogeys -- the last a three-putt from the fringe on the par-4 18th to drop out of the lead.It was kind of sloppy at points, but I felt like I played pretty well, Koepka said. The putter was hot, but just got to clean a few things up.Chez Reavie had the round of the day to make the cut, shooting a 61 after opening with a 76. He had six birdies in a seven-hole stretch that ended on the par-4 10th, added birdies on 13 and 15 and chipped in from 60 feet for eagle on 16.The biggest challenge for me was just to mentally be in a position to even have a chance of playing well today, Reavie said. Fortunately, I was. I was positive and just said I was going to go try and shoot as low as I can and see what happens.Chris Kirk was 11 under after a 66.Kind of felt better and better as the day went on and was able to roll a few in there on the back nine, Kirk said.Keegan Bradley had a 65 to join James Hahn (66) and Pat Perez (66) at 10 under.My game feels really good, Bradley said. Ive been playing good for a while now. Its nice to see some results.Defending champion Smylie Kaufman was 4 under after a 67. Fifty-two-year-old Davis Love III also was 4 under after a 70. ' ' '